Having been married for 20 years, I currently work as a sex worker and cater mainly to nice married men. This particular vantage point has greatly influenced my outlook on the matter. If I were to be completely honest with myself I had unfulfilled desires in my marriage, I would never admit that to my than husband, but I did. I think that is true for most of us. Chocolate cake is undeniably delicious, and I hold it in high regard. However, after 20 years, I wouldn't have minded trying some strawberry shortcake.
What I was worried about is the potential outfall from trying another dessert. Having an affair seemed fraught with too many risks. I envisioned someone losing all of their rational thought and showing up Sunday morning as well were going to church lol. And really I didn't want to hurt my then husband and children. Plus where in the hell would I find someone to have an affair with? Work? No definitely against all HR policies and being gainfully employed was super high on my to do list. Neighbors? OMG I can't even go there. In my old neighborhood this happened. The drama and gossip was at a level I have never seen, the worst part was the kids. The children stopped being invited to birthday parties and playdates. It was a complete disaster. So I guess internet porn it was lol. Where were all these friends with benefits I kept hearing about in popular culture?
I was worried about the potential outcomes of exploring different dessert options. Getting involved in an affair seemed to come with many risks. I pictured someone losing all sense of rationality and unexpectedly showing up on a Sunday morning as we were headed to church, lol. Besides, I didn't want to hurt my then spouse and kids. Moreover, where would I even find said person? At work? No, that would clearly breach HR policies, and ruin not only my family but career. What about neighbors? Oh, I couldn't even think about that possibility. I had witnessed such a scenario in my previous neighborhood. The ensuing chaos and rumors had reached an unprecedented level, particularly impacting the children who were no longer invited to birthday parties and playdates. It was a total disaster. Therefore, I turned to internet pornography, wondering where all these "friends with benefits" frequently depicted in movies were hiding.
This brings me to sex work. If I had know this was a safe and viable option I would have jumped on it (literally). No strings. Just dessert. Before I was a sex worker the thought of my now ex husband having an affair would have been heartbreaking (and he did so I know), even worse if he was seeing a "lady of the night" I would have been livid and assumed he was a pervert. Having an affair requires lots of talking. An emotional connection and that would have been way worse than the physical part. So now that I am a sex worker I see the other side.
What you can't guarantee is that it wouldn't bite you in the booty.
If I had known that sex work was a safe and viable option, I would have jumped on it (literally). Before I entered the sex work industry, the thought of my ex-husband having an affair would have been devastating (which he did and it was). I would have been even more disturbed if he had been involved with a sex worker, I would have considered him deviant. An affair typically involves a significant amount of communication and emotional connection, which I would have found more distressing than the physical aspect. Now that I am a sex worker, I have gained a different perspective. If any of us really wanted to engage in sexual activities we could, may not be with the ideal person, but we could. The thing is we can't control the fall out of said activities.
When paying a sex worker, the payment is not for the act itself but for the discretion it provides. This ensures no hurt feelings and keeps the family safe and intact. Sometimes you just need a haircut, if you catch my drift... To conclude, I'll borrow the words of a Bryan Adams song.
She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I
Oh, but her love is cold
Wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, 'cause
When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch
❤️Charlotte
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