Today I am closing on the third house I have purchased. It caused me to think about the last home I purchased and how different this time feels.
Shortly before the closing of my last house, an error by the recommended mortgage broker caused a major issue, leading to the house not closing. I want to make it clear that I fully understand this process and was qualified, unfortunately people make mistakes and this mistake was a full-blown emergency for me.
The rental property I was living in lease was about to expire and could not be extended, with the house not closing me and my children would not have anywhere to go. The situation escalated into a crisis when the sellers of the house I was purchasing were getting anxious and contemplating choosing another buyer. The entire situation was on the brink of turning into a disaster.
I reached out to a neighbor who owned a mortgage company for some advice. He shared that the fastest his company had closed on a house was in just 8 days. If I could do the same the disaster would be adverted. I promptly transferred my business to his company, submitted the necessary documents that day, and we scheduled a meeting for the next day.
At the meeting the next day, it became clear that he needed motivation to complete a quick closure. I felt a knot starting to form within me, and as the meeting continued so did the knot. It constricted around my stomach then lungs, threatening to suffocate me. It was almost as if I was watching a nightmare play out on TV instead of living it. It was surreal. I agreed to meet him that night at his house to "go over any loose ends."
Throughout the day, I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. I found this man quite appealing - tall, in good shape, around my age, single, and successful. I convinced myself that he could be a potential dating interest, and not the surreal TV show I just witness. So what if I skipped the initial getting-to-know-you phase and jumped straight to the physical aspect, especially since he was very attractive. I reassured myself that I was an adult and no one was forcing me to do this, I was choosing this.
The thing is I was left with no alternative but to proceed. There was no other choice available to me, and he was well aware of that fact. This was not anything I would have ever chosen. The evening unfolded exactly as anticipated, and the house closed in 7 days. However I can feel the knot beginning to form as I just recall this experience.
Merriam-Webster defines sex work as "a person who engages in sexual intercourse in exchange for pay." Using this definition I definitely engaged, and I did get paid in the form of a house closing. The whole thing was consensual and at the same time the whole thing was gross.
Fast forward to the present day, I now work as a full-time courtesan. Each "sex work" interaction is a stark contrast to my initial experience. I willingly engage and am fully present in these interactions. I find satisfaction in this form of sex work because I have other options available, and this time, I am truly making my own decision. It feels good.
I appreciate all the wonderful men and women I have met while working full-time in the sex industry. They have greatly enriched my life in many ways. It is incredible how our actions can have a profound effect on others. I try to be mindful of that every day.
❤️Charlotte
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