Two blog posts ago I talked about if I actually liked doing sex work. I shared my reasons and the fact that yes I was very happy doing sex work. This led to many people asking me how I even started in sex work, including clients, potential clients, and other women.
During a difficult divorce, I found myself in a tight financial situation. A close friend of mine, who was also married and lived in the same neighborhood with our children attending the same school, confided in me. I must admit that I initially judged her, something I am not proud of. She revealed that she had resorted to sex work as a temporary solution to her similar predicament. At that time, I was quick to condemn the idea, believing it was something I would never consider. However, a few months later, faced with my own challenges, I found myself revisiting the website she had mentioned.
That website, which no longer exists, is where my journey began. Given my age, education, and not being easily influenced, I had an exceptionally uneventful and successful beginning. My initial client, whom we'll refer to as David, was something I believe was was meant to be. I'm not religious, not even "spiritual" as some people say. I believe that the right thing is the right thing and all of us know what that is. With that said I really believe the universe knew I needed some good. David was that good. We had texted at length before we ever met, even had a dinner only (for real) date while I was still making my decision to engage in sex work. David, being from the same professional background as me and having retired from the company where I interned, shared mutual connections and was just well normal. The fact that I was able to connect with David was a result of our shared educational backgrounds and similar life experiences. Without those commonalities, I can imagine my path would have taken a different course.
Initially, when I entered the sex industry, I intended to approach it as a short-term solution, mirroring my friend's strategy. I vividly remember the feeling of relief after a few months when I earned enough to cover my mortgage. In that moment I took a breath for the first time in a long time. About nine months later, I made the decision to resign from one of my three jobs, allowing happiness to slowly start creeping back in. After a year, I opted to transition sex work from a temporary fix to a permanent career. Realizing that this shift required more knowledge than I currently possessed, I set out on a quest for information. I explored podcasts, but they primarily focused on personal anecdotes rather than practical advice. I also watched documentaries, which mainly highlighted law enforcement challenges and negative stories, offering little insight into a sustainable business model.
During my research, I encountered individuals who referred to themselves as "mentors," "personal assistants," "screeners," or "agents," all of which seemed like the equivalent of a pimp to me, so I immediately dismissed them. However, after my initial research efforts failed, I revisited these individuals. I thoroughly reviewed their information and websites, ultimately selecting one person to further investigate. I had to contact her twice as she was also evaluating me. What convinced me to proceed with her was her statement that a mentor guides you without taking control of your business. She was truly exceptional! Although not inexpensive, her knowledge was priceless. She assisted me in getting organized, provided valuable insights, and was a fantastic woman and mother. Just shy of a year later, I was successfully operating on my own.
Currently, I provide mentoring services for women who find themselves in a similar situation to mine. Let's be honest, the idea of entering the sex industry can be daunting and extremely risky. Thanks to my mentor who showed me the way, I am now in a happy and secure place. The fact that I can say I am a "sex worker," and not the other "p" word with all of its negative association, is because of the women who came before my mentor.
(Side note if you want to go down a rabbit hole you can learn more about Carrol Leigh, who coined the term "sex work." She passed away at the age of 71 two years ago. If you're interested in learning more about her, you can visit this link: https://linktr.ee/CarolLeigh.)
As I conclude this post, I am struck by how easily we can impact someone else's life, whether it is positive or negative. Small actions can lead to significant outcomes. I am truly thankful for the sex workers who came before me, who guided me, and who I call family. ❤️ (and yes now I'm totally bawling!)
❤️Charlotte
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