Close Encounters of The Strange Kind: When Shopping Turns Unsettling

Last week, as I was shopping at a big box store, what was supposed to be a simple excursion quickly turned troubling. What began as a peaceful afternoon of shopping transformed into an unsettling encounter that I never expected. The aisles felt wide, and the mellow hum of voices created a comforting atmosphere. Little did I know, this tranquility was about to shatter.

While shopping, I noticed a man on every aisle I visited. Initially dismissing it as coincidence, I grew uneasy as he appeared again. He seemed 10 to 15 years older, wearing a wedding ring and was a stranger. With unsettling ease, he approached and mentioned he had been watching me.

What happened next was surreal and disturbing. He began making advances as I stood in a brightly lit grocery store packed with families. This was a new level of unwanted attention. I felt exposed and vulnerable; the other shoppers, who usually provided a sense of security, suddenly seemed like mere spectators to an awkward situation.

I decided to respond in a way I thought would make him back off. To regain some control, I told him I was a sex worker and gave him my phone number, suggesting he google it. Even though it seemed like a drastic and totally inappropriate move given where we were, it was the only way to shut things down.

To my surprise, he texted me later, asking me out for lunch. The conversation took a shocking turn as he revealed his dissatisfaction with his sex life with his wife and that he had fantasized about me. In one text, he admitted to having seen my photos online and listed all the websites he had been on and even masturbated to them. It made me deeply uncomfortable as I began to realize he must have recognized me and that I had been the object of his fantasies. I was deeply uncomfortable.

I'm aware that I've got a bit of a public profile, but I truly never expected anyone to recognize me. Additionally, there's an unspoken rule that if a sex worker and a client cross paths publicly, we don't acknowledge each other. I always blur my face in photos, wait to post about where I've been until I'm long gone, and I don't dress in a way that stands out. Plus, I never visit places where one might typically expect to find a sex worker.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson about self-awareness and boundaries. I realized that I have the right to assert my comfort in any situation. Unwanted attention is not admiration; it often reflects a person’s disregard for my feelings. I don't know how this man felt about this interaction, but it was obvious that I was extremely uncomfortable.

As we navigate this life, take a moment to think about the other people around us. While you might feel one way, others might feel differently, and that's totally okay. We're all just trying to do our best. Aim to be the best version of yourself.

❤️Charlotte